Relying on the kindness of strangers
I mention this now because the events, past and soon to come, of the last year or so have reminded me of my personal responsibility for observing mitzvot, and the challenges sometimes involved. Last year, we carefully called some old friends a month before Purim and invited them to join us for a Seudat Purim (Purim feast) to ensure that we'd actually have a Seudat Purim. Yet, due to health problems and last-minute scheduling conflicts--one can't exactly "reschedule" a shiva call--all of them had to cancel just days before Purim. This year, we were invited to join the same crew, but health problems resulted in another cancellation only about an hour and a half before I was supposed to leave for the two-subways, one-bus trip. Purim 2012 won't be any better--we expect one of the would-be Seudat Purim participants to go for yet another round of surgery next spring. And adding, well, (her) "injury" to (our having been) "insult(ed)," as it were, our seder hostess of roughly 20 years is currently recuperating from surgery and going elsewhere for both sedarim, leaving us in the lurch for one seder.
All of these folks are people whom we've known for more than 25 years. Yet our ability to rely on them to help us fulfil mitzvot seems destined to become a thing of the past.
So what's going to happen to us when we move? If we move in the summer of 2012, as currently planned, and if we're really serious about not traveling on Shabbat (Sabbath) or Yom Tov (major holidays) anymore after we move, we'll have less than a year to make friends who live within walking distance and who are sufficiently fond of us to accept our invitation to a seder or to invite us. It's a daunting prospect, and not just the making-friends part--if we can't rely on old friends, how do we know that we'll have much better luck with new ones?
5 Comments:
Shira - it obviously depends on where you move! For someone in an Orthodox community to invite you for seder is a no-brainer...
Yeah, if you join a warm, inviting community, it shouldn't be a big imposition.
Finding people to take the time to pursue a secular interest is sometimes harder, but every family is hosting or attending two sedarim.
Thanks for the good news. I certainly needed it, after our Purim plans went up in smoke.
We're still trying to decide where to move and which flavor of Judaism is best for us. After my husband recovers from tax season, I hope to make arrangements for home hospitality for Shabbat (Sabbath) at one Egalitarian Conservative and one Modern Orthodox synagogue that we've been considering joining. We'd like to sample one Shabbat at each shul, to see whether either one might be right for us. Stay tuned.
This issue is not old or new friends, but old or young (or, even more important, healthy or sick).. as we age, things become more problematic. If you lived within walking distance you would have been able to join us for an hour or so, but asking you to travel that distance for such a short visit didn't seem right. Also, once you live among like-minded people, YOU can host seudot and sedarim.
Well, hello, Lanie! Never thought I'd see you on my blog. Welcome aboard!
"This issue is not old or new friends, but old or young (or, even more important, healthy or sick).. as we age, things become more problematic."
Definitely. We've been lucky, thus far. Wish we could say the same for you. (Get well soon!)
"If you lived within walking distance you would have been able to join us for an hour or so, but asking you to travel that distance for such a short visit didn't seem right."
True. Thanks for taking the "schlep" into consideration. It's quite a trip, especially when one of the subway lines is not running.
"Also, once you live among like-minded people, YOU can host seudot and sedarim."
First, we have to (re?)learn how to cook. :) But yes, that would be cool. Also, the specific company would be cool. One of the reasons why we stopped making sedarim was that we kept ending up with tables full of people who didn't know any of the seder songs. If we're going to bust our chops cooking, which neither of us enjoys, I don't think it's unreasonable of us to expect to enjoy the company, at least--what's the point of inviting guests if you're just going to end up singing duets anyway? With you and the crew from down the hill, at least we could enjoy the singing and get some good discussions going around the seder table.
Post a Comment
<< Home